Healing takes time especially emotional and spiritual wounds. Never let others put a time frame on YOUR process. We all heal differently. After all, they do not truly know what it feels like to be you. Perhaps they have experienced something similar and they have had their share of heart wrenching moments but, they are not you. Perhaps it took them a minute to get over the hurt it is taking you years. Point is, healing is a process not an event.
I have been in the position where I have felt as though I had to heal according to someone else’s time line. To be frank, I am still here. The opinion of others will NEVER go away but, you just have to do what works best for you. I was listening to a talk show recently when I heard on of the hosts say, “The best advice is advice that people give that is for you and not what they would do if they were you” and that really resonated with me.
I worked at a company for several years and it was like a toxic relationship that I couldn’t seem to leave. I was too consumed by the “what ifs” that I didn’t allow myself to just let go. Whenever I would turn to my family and friends, they would always say stuff like “at least you have a job” and “don’t take them on, job hard to get” and these words often left me more afraid than I was before. I felt as though I was between a rock and a hard place. Until an incident at the company happened and I was told “You do not have any choice here!” It could have been a wakeup call or the hormones fluctuating within me (as I was also pregnant at the time). I left that day deciding never to return again.
I’ve been home a year now, and I still feel the negative effects and energy of that place. I often hear that I need to get over it and move on. As much as I agree that I need to get over it, the pain and the trauma does not just fade away, it is a process. I have never received so much back lash for choosing to not take the first job that is offered to me. How could work for someone else after being treat as if I had no value of worth to the company I previously worked for? How could I sacrifice my time and efforts to build someone else dream while my own dreams and aspiration fade away like cheap dye in jeans? For those reasons I am still in the process of healing and overcoming my fears of working for someone in a company that doesn’t value me and my God given talents. I cannot apologize for the way I feel. I cannot just cast these feelings aside like they once did to me. I like everyone and every living being need my time to heal. Through healing requires devotion, patience and divine intervention.
choosing to not take unsolicited advice about my parenting style and for choosing to stay at home with my daughter. For the first time in my entire life, I do not care. It’s not their business and I am going to heal my way and in my time. I am going to make my choices according to my lifestyle and it is okay. This is all a part defining me, Tonisha 2.0!